Bont XI vs Rhosgoch

As well as making naked calendars, Bont XI actually play football. But like the fact that Adolf Hitler was a great leader, it's often overlooked. Bont's very own Fuehrer Rhodri Morgans played himself in goal in a new look Bont side that hadn't really changed at all. After the players entered the changing rooms via the quickest route as the crow flies from the car park through a door that's never open, Chairman 
Dicky Mint moaned about how nobody ever puts their dirty socks the right way around after games, that 4 pairs of boots and 3 sets of shinpads have been left behind and 6 training tops have gone missing. Everyone just ignored him. 

After looking at, laughing at, and signing copies of the 2014 Bont XI naked calendar (available now, message me for details) the team went out onto the field, which resembled Pâté on toast, with a few strands of watercress poking through it.

The game started well for Bont. In the time it took club secretary Rhian Jones to turn the tea urn on, Bont had scored. A pea roller free kick from Ceri Jenkins bounced around like Katie Price on a trampoline and found its way to Trevor Jenkins who smashed the ball home. 1-0 to bottom of the league Bont.

Once in the lead, the Bont defence pushed back further than a receding hairline. Some quick passing twinned with quicker movement saw Rhosgoch get behind enemy lines and score twice before the break to lead 2-1. The moment of the half came as the Rhosgoch number 6 took a dive and went into the ground like a tent peg. Sion Jones went berserk and almost kicked him in the head causing him to roll around like a horse in a stable. None of the #BontLads are cactus experts, but we know a prick when we see one.

Hope was extinguished like a candle on a drafty windowsill as Rhosgoch got their third, a sliced shot that was almost kept out by ginger fullback Andrew Gilbert who was upside down dangling in the net in the end.
It probably should have been 4, as the nippy ginger Rhosgoch number 10 ran past centre half Sion Jones. His fancy footwork had Len Goodman putting down his SEVEN card and reaching for a 10. Ceri Jenkins came across on the cover, only to get his angles wrong and had no choice but to put in a rugby tackle that Leigh Halfpenny would have been proud of. The ref had no choice, but neither did Jenkins as the Asian betting syndicate had their money on Rhosgoch. Red card to Bont, fifteen minutes left.

The cheer of the day came as keeper and manager Rhodri Morgans made a fantastic double save which caused enough noise in the north stand to register on the Richter scale. The sound was more amazement as Rhodri is normally as useful as a hot air balloon at Pearl Harbour. It finished 3-1 to the away side, and despite the disappointment of losing, Bont took pride in how well they played.

After a successful raffle, raising £30 for the club, the players sat in front of the fire contemplating where it all went wrong. The lesson from today is that no matter how good Rhosgoch are, no team who possess players that can't say their own name don't deserve to be top of the league. There is no such place as Ross Gock. Move the English border I say, they can have Powys.

Final Score - Bont XI 1 Rhosgoch 3

#CeriHalfpenny
#SaysItLikeItIs
#DoubleSave
#BontXI